I found them from the Internet but I lost the source. =( Let me know if you happen to know the source so I can link back.

They are in Chinese but I've translated them into English. Corrections are welcome. =)

Although I don't agree with some of them and some others only apply in certain cases, I think many are meaningful and full of wisdom. Take whatever that applies to and works for you. =)

EDIT: The list is pretty long so click the Read More link to read it.

Earlier this week, I came across a tweet on Twitter.

A man asked his mother "How will I ever find the right woman?" She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

I thought it was brilliant.

On the next day, it came to my mind again. And I suddenly realised that the same applies in a gay context and to me too.

All this while I have been looking for the right man for me but so far I get nothing.

This tweet has really made me realise how silly I was. I should focus on making myself better instead of looking for someone better.

Seriously, why hadn't I thought of this before?

So I decided to spend less time on Grindr and more time on my personal development.

Happy Chinese New Year!

I stumbled upon several video clips on same-sex marriage recently. It seems to be getting a lot of momentum in Western countries.

I especially love the Australian marriage equality ad:

Iowa:

Ireland:

I bumped into a pretty inspiring article:

If I were to ask if you were a runner, what would you say? Before you answer let me be clear, I’m not referring to a person who goes out every morning and jogs a few miles. Instead, I’m talking about the person who runs away from the truths of everyday life.

Whether you consider yourself a runner or not, the reality is, we all run from truths we don’t wish to accept. Some of us like to run more than others, but in the end everyone is a runner. Many go to great lengths to avoid facing reality and in the process end up miserable. Personally, I’ve done enough “running” in my life to qualify for a gold medal at the Olympics. But at the end of the day, we can only run so long.

Contrary to popular belief, personal growth is not all about being positive and in a zen state 24/7. It’s certainty important to look at the positive aspects of life and live in a state of flow, but honest personal growth also requires that you take a hard look at your reality even if it’s not where you want it to be. To get from point A to point B you have to be honest with yourself first.

The following are 7 truths you may be running from and several tips to face them.

You’re Not Healthy

Are you as healthy as you want to be? Be honest. I’m not talking about having a six pack or bulging biceps but rather a life that is congruent with remarkable physical and mental health. If you are living a healthy lifestyle I applaud you, but for those who are not it’s certainly not too late to start now.

If your lifestyle is anything like an “average” American, chances are you aren’t all that healthy. This isn’t something to beat yourself up over however, simply accept where you’re currently at. The first step to change is to acknowledge that changes needs to be made.

Because this article is about facing truths, I’m going to be honest and say that I am not nearly as healthy as I want to be. By no stretch of the imagination do I consider myself overweight, but my physical health is definitely something I need to continue to work on. If I spent as much time physically running as I did metaphorically I’d be set ;).

Action Steps

Be Specific: Getting specific about what you want in regard to health is essential in being at the top of your game. Give yourself specific actions you can take that you know will bring yourself into alignment with better health. Saying, “I need to eat better” is a weak goal to have. Instead be specific: “I’ll replace drinking a glass of whole milk, with a glass of water.Fun Fact: A glass of whole milk has as much saturated fat as 5 pieces of bacon. (Source =Switch)

Start Small: What area can you work on TODAY that will bring you benefits in the long run? Don’t begin with a radical diet/exercise overhaul because you will only burn out. Take small steps that you know you can do on a routine basis. It’s essential to create a routine because routines don’t require motivation as fuel. Take the first step.

Start a Food Journal: Some say this may be a bit excessive, but it gets results. Instead of counting calories, simply write down what it is that you eat. Do this for several weeks and you’ll be sure to find some patterns that may need to fix.

Walk Daily: By far the easiest way to get into the shape you need, is to go on a daily walk. Not only is it good for you, it will give you time to get away and relax. In Healthy At 100, a book on those who live to the age of 100, nearly every Centenarian walked at least an hour a day. Coincidence? I think not.

Your Relationships Are Holding You Back

Unfortunately, many of us cling to relationships that are obviously doing more harm than good. I’ve certainly been there before myself as well. It’s safe to say that you and I both know those kind of relationships, the ones you recognize you need to let go but you just feel you can’t.

Maybe you’re hanging onto a romantic relationship because you’ve been dating for several years and are scared of change. Or perhaps you’re still friends with Johnny, now a serial killer druggie, just because he was your best friend in 3rd grade. Sometimes you need to let go.

Being loyal to an old friend or partner who you are no longer compatible with is only intelligent for so long, then you’re just wasting your time and blocking future relationship possibilities.

This truth can be particularly hard to accept but deep down it’s usually obvious. I’ve dropped a handful of relationships throughout  my life because there was no longer the compatibility there once was. Again, I know this isn’t always easy but it’s something we all must face.

Action Steps

Examine Your Relationships: Taking a hard look at your relationships takes a effort,  but is also very important. How do you examine your relationships? Literally ask: ” How do I feel about Suzie Q?” Be honest with yourself and how you feel. Don’t splenda coat your answers. Do you feel your social circle is helping you contribute to the world? Does your current friends and family lift you up instead of bring you down? Only you know for certain.

Talk With Those You Love: Part of examining your relationships is having dialogue with those you care about. If you feel as if a certain relationship isn’t helping the both of you, it’s important you talk things out. Putting up with a relationship just because you’re afraid of change is not only selfish, it hurts both of you in the long run. Talking about your relationships can be scary and nerve racking but again that doesn’t change the reality of the situation. Make communication a high priority.

Ask a Friend or Trusted One: If you’re struggling with a particular relationship it can be beneficial to ask someone you trust for advice. Often times an outside source will be able to give you some insights that you may miss. Be open to their opinion as it is likely they have a more objective view than you. Obviously, you don’t have to agree fully with what they say but just be willing to listen. If you’re struggling romantically try asking your best friend an honest prediction of what he or she predicts will happen in the future, this exercise may take courage but can be very mind opening.

You’re Indifferent About Your Career

[If you're working a job you LOVE you can safely skip this section. Don't worry... I still love you.]

Although I’ve yet to have an official career, I know what it is like to struggle through work you can’t stand. I honestly believe if you’re simply content with your current career you’re being selfish. That may be harsh to say, but there is simply no reason you can’t be doing work you’re completely passionate about.

Sure, you have to make money to pay the bills and provide for your family, but putting in the extra work to create a meaningful career is well worth the energy and will allow you to contribute far more value into the world.

Realizing that you aren’t currently enjoying your career is the first step to creating one in which you do.

Action Steps

Start Your Own Projects: If you aren’t currently happy with your career there are a plethora of options for you to consider. Starting side projects don’t require that you quit your job or tell your boss he’s fat, but it will require a bit of extra effort on your part. Accept those facts and get moving. Start now.

Realize There IS a way out: If you can’t fathom working a career that you love,it’s time you realize what age we’re in. I hate to sound cliche but anything is possible. There are plenty ofpeople “crushing it” on a daily basis all because they realize what is attainable.

Change Your Friends: Again, changing your friends may seem a bit harsh, but so is going to a job you hate everyday. If you’re surrounded by people who only wish to remain in the status quo, it’s no wonder you feel suffocated by what you call work. If you really wish to start contributing, it is likely in your best interest to create a new social circle that will support your future dreams and aspirations. It’s not totally necessary to cut all ties, but certainly something to consider. Work with a best friend? Bring them along.

What Are You Passionate About? Maybe you’ve been stuck in a dead end job for far too long and don’t even know what you’re passionate about. Not a problem. Open up a word document and do some journaling. Ask yourself questions like: If money was not an option what would I love to do? What brings me joy? See where those questions take you, then work to make it happen.

Your Fears Are Keeping You Grounded

Why do we run? In short, it’s because we are afraid. Seth Godin likes to say it’s because of our Lizard Brain. Regardless, being afraid isn’t particularly helpful in reaching our goals and dreams.

Healthy Fears: Being afraid of snakes
Stupid Fears: Everything else.

I find it remarkable how much energy we waste on fearing situations and outcomes that don’t have a remote chance in actually happening. If you live in a constant state of fear it’s nearly impossible to lead a tribe or create a revolution.

It’s unrealistic to believe we can knock fear out completely, but we can certainly attack the bastard once he stands up.

Action Steps

Be Bold: When I attended Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop in January (think what you will), we did a variety of power exercises that helped us get out of our comfort zones. This included going up on stage to sing, or asking a person who was playing the slot machines what year it was. Pushing yourself doesn’t require much other than a bit of courage. Tell that Starbucks girl you think she’s beautiful. Say thank you to the professor that has changed the way you thought. Be bold.

If You Knew What You Couldn’t Fail: What actions would you take if you knew you could not fail? I realize this is an often cheesy question cited in several dozen personal development books, but it is a powerful thought exercise nonetheless. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? I can’t hear you.

Do What You’re Afraid of: Considering this post is littered with hundreds of painful cliches, I figure I’m on a roll so without further a do: Do what you’re afraid of. To over come any fears that hinder your success you must face them. If I would have let my fears get the best of me, you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.

You’re More Remarkable Than You Think

Ah! So the personal development blog is finally positive! Yes wise one, very nice of you to notice. (With that failed Yoda moment let us continue.)

I hate to burst your I-feel-sorry-for-my-self-bubble, a bubble we all live in from time to time, but you are more remarkable than you think.

Unfortunately, because of social conditioning and being thrown in a locker everyday of the 3rd grade, ( that never happened to you?) we often feel as if we offer nothing of value to the world. But that couldn’t but farther from the truth.

STOP THINKING THAT YOU’RE NOT REMARKABLE (CAPS mean I’m screaming.) I promise no matter who you are or where you’re from you having something to give to the world. Don’t believe me? Send me an email and I’d be happy to help you.

Here’s the truth: Being remarkable scares you. Knowing that you can create long lasting changing is hard to wrap your mind around. But the reality is we can do all those things and more. You are more remarkable than you think.

NO ACTIONS STEPS BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO BE REMARKABLE.

You Like To Be Unhappy

Feeling high off positivity after hearing you’re more remarkable than you think? Back to reality ;) You like to be unhappy.

It might be odd to hear that you like to be unhappy because that goes against common sense. All I want is to BE HAPPY you might say. Yet many of your actions aren’t congruent with that statement. Don’t worry I like being unhappy from time to time too.

Obviously, we don’t really want to be unhappy, yet many times our actions and thoughts don’t allow us to experience the state of flow we all want and desire.

Action Steps

Become More Mindful of Your Thoughts: Becoming mindful of your thoughts will quickly lead you into noticing various thought patterns you may have. Throughout the day notice the language you choose to use. Warning: you may be fairly surprised.

Notice How Much You Complain: Complaining is your way of saying to the world I want to be unhappy, yet so many of us do so on a regular basis. Simply becoming aware of how much you complain will really wake you up to how lucky you are. Try going an entire day without complaining.

Create A Gratitude Journal: To combat your tendency to complain try the opposite approach. When you feel the urge to complain about the guy who just cut you off, be thankful that you have a car to drive. I’m not talking about superficial gratitude but rather being sincere in all the blessings you have. I like to express my gratitude right before I go to sleep.

Your Habits Suck

We like to think we have everything figured out, that our daily routine is effective for everyone involved. But rarely is that the case.

It’s safe to say that if you’re not currently living the life you want your habits are to blame.

Again, since this post is about being honest, the last 6 months I’ve struggled with creating habits that will get me to where I want to be. Only recently have I realized (or stopped running) from the truth. I’m currently in the process of making great habits that I know will take me where I want to be.

Action Steps

Start a 30 day trial: The best way to change a bad habit is to start a 30 day trial supporting a new and improved one. I’ve done several of these with wonderful success. I’m certainly not the first person to suggest a 30 day trial but I can attest to how beneficial they have been for me.

Write Down Your Activities For The Day: Writing down everything you do for one day will really open your eyes to how little you actually accomplish. You don’t have to have every hour of your calendar filled to have a productive day, instead do work that really matters then you can sleep at night.

What Habits Do You Want? Take a moment and think about the habits you think would help you reach your goals. Start small and aim to implement these habits at a pace in which you can keep up. You may struggle in establishing a habit but it will be worth it in the end.

Stop Running

Whether you like to admit it or not, we all run from truths from time to time. Instead of running from a reality take a moment to consciously face your current situation.

Being honest with yourself is perhaps one of the greatest characteristics you can have, because only when you are honest with yourself can you begin to change.

No matter how strong you think you are, you can’t run forever. Facing reality may be difficult and you may struggle, but it is far better than turning your back from the truth. As Shakespeare once said “Cowards die a thousand deaths.”

http://lby1985.blogspot.com/2010/03/blog-post_23.html

如果你問一名同志，問他(她)為何之所以會變成為同志？我想，這個問題勢必是無法述說的！是沒有答案的！

研究報告證實，一個人到底同志不同志，乃在於還沒出世前就註定好的，那全是XY基因染色體在結合方面出現了異變。
嚴格來講，(這是最新的醫學研究指示。)真正要追究就得說起生他(她)們的母親，是她們在即要臨盆前的那幾週或幾個月，因為分泌不尋常的女性荷爾蒙所導致新生命有著〝高〞機率的同志傾向。
當然囉！也有人是因為後天的環境及因素，而轉性成為同志，但那是極為少數的。

根據台灣同志人口初步估計，同志佔全台灣人口的十分之一，相當於2300000人，甚至更多！
深信每個人都曾被灌輸過這一套〝男大當娶，女大當嫁〞的傳統刻板觀念，我也不例外。印象中，在我還沒讀國小時，母親常對我說:「你長大結婚後，還愛不愛媽媽。」青春期開始，親戚們則會陸陸續續的問起我:「你有沒有交女朋友呀。」之類的話題。他們的詢問，總是帶給我一絲敏感！結婚生子對我來說，絕對會是比脫褲子放屁還要來得不實際。
記得小時候，經常跟隨著父親去超商購物,總是會有那麼幾次的，父親會去購買他的內褲 ，那是我最高興的時段，每一次在他(父親)挑選的同時，我都會很專注的看著內褲包裝上的男模，看著模特兒的身材和那一包，且是看得興高采烈又欲罷不能。那時我還不知我的行為已經是異於常人，也沒想那麼多…。
直到我上了國中，我終於知道真相！那個時候，我是極力的在排斥那另一個我，對女生還抱有著一絲感覺。
就在國二時，我頭一次感受到戀愛的氣息，對象是位女生，就那麼1次的告白， 我被對方拒絕了。 內心非常痛苦，體會到極大的挫敗感！ 因此之後,我就對女生充滿了排斥感；再也沒有任何感覺(情)了 。
有的，也僅有欣賞女性那純純的體態美感,我的欣賞是不帶有任何的性及慾望 。
就這樣，我註定要當一輩子的faggotry(男同志)。
我的猜測，或許最初的我是個雙性戀者,但最終還是讓同性的一方戰勝了異性的一方。
終於在我14歲那一年起，我開始背負著說謊及偽裝的〝職責〞生存下去。
至今已有十幾個年頭之久…。

李安是我非常喜歡的台灣導演，就在我大學時期，一部電影作品轟動了國際影壇。是的！那就是 斷背山 。
當年在DVD發行的首日，我就立即的跑去購買。
對我來說，這是一大挑戰！不論是對於買方的我或賣方的店家，雙方都有幾分尷尬。那是我有生以來第一次做出類似〝出櫃〞的舉動，雖然那是個如此渺小的行動。
更是讓我有挑戰性的是接下來的〝闔家觀賞〞時間。
在此說明一下。我的家族是個極為反對、討厭同志群族的〝反同志者〞，對他們來說，同志(當然也包含著雙性戀者及跨性別者)是個極為噁心、變態及唾棄的東西！在這樣環境下長大的我，哪有那個膽量向父母坦白我的性向。
果不出我所料，他們是一邊觀看並同時侮辱批評著的把〝斷〞片看完。
父親更是言重。當時他說出一句話，那句話讓我印象深刻，深刻到有所憤怒！
他說：「社會上怎麼會有那麼骯髒的〝生物〞，有女人不要偏偏要去找男人插屁眼……。」他以台語說出他內心的作噁感。父親不把同志當人看待，而是歸類為生物，既是低等的生畜。
你說！有哪位同志聽到此話會不生氣的。

如今的我已經二十多歲，沒有任何戀愛經驗。母親卻已經開始關心起，一不二時便會問起我，有關愛情方面的事情。我知道她只是隨口說說，其實我可以感受得到，她的內心是期待著我那麼一天的來到。(帶著女朋友回家的那天。)
真是該死！我為什麼就得面臨到這種不必要的婚姻壓力。我心想再六年左右，這壓力不將再是那麼的單純，我一定會死在相親的環境下，該怎麼對父母表明我的性向呢？這是一門考驗。
但我還是做出了行動！前陣子我出外，短居了1年的期間。
某一天的我心情遭透了…。
我借酒壯膽似的，那是個臨時起意，我拿起手機，撥打起家中的電話，是母親接聽的，無言了一回兒，我在猶豫。
或許是因為我見不到對方吧！？
開口並不如想像中的困難，我深吸一口氣並開口言語，終於我是大辣辣的說出我的性向。母親嚇壞了！她不知要向我說些什麼？肯定的，她是無法接受我的出櫃。
她換手將電話轉遞給父親。
父親比母親更加難以溝通，堅持認為這只是我暫時的性別錯亂，我一再否認他們的說法，夫妻倆不想再多說…，是絕對理性化的中止這通來電。
終究是有返家的一天，見面的第一眼，父母則是刻意到什麼都不說，彷如出櫃一事從未發生過，直到如今也是如此。
究竟出櫃或不出櫃，決定權都在自己！而我選擇了出櫃，那只是一種自我解放的表現手法。
但我還是希望，他們夫妻倆能夠正視的與我溝通。

我經常對著那些接納我的性向的朋友說：「我很幸運，有著你們這些朋友，讓我的生活不再是那麼狹小。」
記得，有那麼一位朋友，在我們還沒認識之前，她主動的還找我聊天，他問我是不是同性戀？她的眼神帶有一絲的期待，同時也摻雜了少許的罪惡。想必，她的內心一定是這麼盤問自己「我是不是問了不該問的事情？」
我毫不猶豫的對她坦承她想知道的答案。
這是我的觀察及認為，當一個管他們是男或女，會主動地想要瞭解你的性向時，那個人絕對是友善而真誠的，怎麼說！？

1. 有一個人會主動的跟你(妳)聊有關〝同志〞性向的問題，那就表示，此人是個能接納或支持同志的人。

2. 或許該人也有著同志方面的性向和質疑，再者就是他(她)的周圍也有著同志的朋友或家屬。

3. 如果該人是反同志者，那他(她)絕對不會主動來問「你(妳)是同性戀嗎？」此行為是多此一舉的！真要作出行動也一定是說出一些侮辱同志的術語「死同性戀！死玻璃！娘娘腔！死變態！……等。」，不然就是不表示意見的靜靜閉口不說。

透露中表示，她懷疑她的老弟也有著同志的傾向，她無法判斷是否要跟她弟弟講這件事？
天呀…萬萬不能！
我向她說：「不行！妳絕對不能跟她討論這件事，這會壞了你們姊弟間的有情，更會受創了妳弟的心靈層面，使他感到有所罪惡。」
「什麼都別說。」
我說：「等到他接納自己、認同自己。他覺得時機對了，自然會有所行動。」
「如果一輩子都無能放鬆內心的那個死結，那也就算了！」

同志所要的不是同情，也不是虛偽的包容。我們要的很簡單，就是大家能夠開懷擁抱的認同及認識我們，在社會上所受到的待遇是平等的，是有一席之地的。
我們同志不偷也不搶，性侵害、性騷擾案件也比正常人少之又少，幾乎沒有。愛滋病人口數據，也比一般人來得要少。為何像我們這樣的優良公民，就得遭受到如此的對待及歧視，就因為掛著〝同志〞兩個字。這太不公平了！
我並非在炫燿同志有多麼的…你知道的，我只是實話實說罷了。

同性戀……。
如此簡單又獨特的字言。
我聽很多人說，同性戀就是會感染愛滋病！(誰說的！難道異性戀的就不會，假神聖。) 同性戀就是有罪！他們違背了自然的法則。(何謂法則？傳宗接代嗎？得了吧…，全世界能〝傳宗接代〞的人不差我們這些同志。) 同性戀就僅會造就社會的問題！(吃屎把！別把少數的案例，當作全世界的同志都是如此。) 同性戀注定著一辈子孤單到死去的那天。(這干你屁事。)

〝同性戀〞簡單的說，就是在性選擇方面，所想要寄託的另一伴會是個跟我一樣有一條陰莖的男人；跟她人一樣有著一對美而艇的胸部的女人，就是那麼單純再不過了。
同性戀依然要在職場上工作，一樣必須經歷生老病死的人生階段。吃同樣的食物，吸同樣的空氣，接收同樣的文明資訊……。
論他(她)是同性戀或是異性戀，每個人都有權利去選擇所愛的人，不該再受傳統的觀念所遷拌，而讓它成為不必要的絆腳石。
期許有朝一日，台灣的同志團體不再是個走暗路的低調族群。
就像六色彩紅旗一樣，能夠活出彩虹色般的人生。

身為同志，我身感驕傲。
全世界的同志們，加油！！

I find this video so true to an openly gay man. For some people, maybe it is not a big deal having to answer such questions. But for me, it will definitely get awkward.