I realize I enjoy being alone more.

I actually feel placing my affection on someone real and reachable in my life causes me more troubles than the pleasure it would give.

And so, I've decided to leave again. This time I really don't seem to have any reason to stay anymore (yet I have several to leave).

It may be a pity as it ended up this way. But I feel freer. And I have recently diverted my affection towards a celebrity that I can never reach. I think my life has become as easy as before without those love worries.

Let it be my fault for not being faithful to my love.

我想我还是比较适合自己一个人过。

不是不爱他，只是我没办法做到他要的。

他说我们只能是朋友，偏偏又爱跟我说情话，让我没办法克制自己想要跟他进一步发展。

他要我跟他做可以说情话的朋友。我真的做不到。而且我会担心这份爱将来会跟我的理想令我两难。

就当作是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何

已经快三个星期没有跟他联络了。我生活依旧如常。我越来越搞不懂爱。之前明明就觉得它是爱，但是为什么没有了却又不痛不痒。有他的时候虽然不寂寞，但是会觉得要烦的事情比较多。没有了他，反而没那么多烦恼，虽然会寂寞，但是也习惯了。

今天收到消息，房东要收回我租的房子。这就是天意吧。当初改变主意选择留下来是因为他，现在既然已经不爱了，也没有理由留下来了。再多两个月半，我就离开了。这次应该不会像上次那样反反复复了吧。