Archive for November 2011


No facepic no reply

Have a facepic before you say hi

Headlines/descriptions like these are commonly found in Grindr profiles.

I can totally understand nobody wants to befriend (or have sex) with anyone with a look they don't like, but I'm still not putting up my face pic. At first, it was merely because I don't want anyone in this small Town to be able to identify me as gay when I go out to shop for groceries. But recently I have come to realize that it doesn't really matter to me anymore.

Yet there's still another reason I don't put on a face pic. It's because I'm not entirely confident with how I look. While I don't consider myself to be bad looking, I'm just terribly un-photogenic. I never get along well with camera - for whatever reason! So I don't really have a decent photo to be my profile pic.

Well maybe when I'm finally more confident with my look in photos, then I will be putting my facepic. =)

Need some peace

I really need some peace.

Neverending family affairs. My family has never been in peace ever since I was young. Until today I'm still not sure what is the root of the problem but I think every member in the family is responsible for it.

There was a time I thought my family is finally in harmony but it turns out not. Apparently everything was swept under the carpet and had turned into landmines, awaiting to be triggered.

Recently, something triggered the mines right there. Being part of the family, I inevitably got dragged into this. They claimed that I am one of the causes of the fight, something on me that's really petty and hardly related to what the fight is about.

Every time there's a fight in the family, I've always been stuck in the middle. It's never an easy job to please both parties and have them come into a peace treaty. I'm not a powerful member in the family to have both parties listen to me. Even though I have been trying, they never really listened.

I thought of pretending nothing happens and stay outside of it. But there was always a part of me thinking that being a member of the family, I have the responsibility to make sure it's harmonious. So I always try to resolve the conflicts in some ways, even though I know they never really listened to me.

But now I'm really tired of this. I really think I should wash my hands of this. Since the ladies think I am also one of the reasons for the fight this time, I should really stay far away from both parties to avoid being one of the reasons for their next fight. It's also better for me because I can finally stay out of the fight.

So here I'm now planning for another move. Other factors such as job and realizing the need of some freedom also further validate the move.