Starting Anew

In another few days, I'm going to relocate myself to KL again. I'm quite excited for the move. The first thing is of course I can start anew—new place, new housemates, new company, new colleagues, new friends.

I haven't told any of my existing friends on my move (except those that I have no choice but to let them know). Partially because I want to experiment and simulate living in a completely new place, without any friends and family.

Another part of it is that I'm planning to live openly as a gay guy—not having to hide my sexuality. IMO, letting newly known people know that I'm gay should be easier than coming out to existing friends. That's because we have established relationships with existing friends, so we are more afraid of losing existing friends than of losing someone we just get to know. That's why I've decided that for me, I should come out to my new friends first.

I haven't planned exactly how I'm going to come out to my new friends, and I probably won't plan anything in an actionable manner. To me, too much planning on certain matters sometimes will eventually cause more disappointment. Usually when we plan on something, we are putting expectations on how it should work. The more we plan, the higher we expect, and the higher we expect, the more we feel disappointed when things don't go according to our plans. So to avoid the disappointments and whatnots, I'm not going to plan anything specific. Planning to come out to new friends before existing friends is probably the most specific I can plan already.

Of course I don't think I can hide my whereabouts from my existing friends for long. The area where I'm going to live and work at is just around the area where I used to live. I may bump into my existing friends anytime. When the time comes, that's probably the time I need to start preparing to come out to (or even to be found out as gay by) my existing friends already. That can be in a few months, or a few years. For that I will let my fate to decide.

Sounds like a challenging plan, and I'm not sure if I can handle it. But I guess it's about time I do something about my closeted self, because I might not be able to get a better opportunity to do something about it in the future.

27 comments:

  1. ohhhhh....sound like a good plan...hope u will have a better life here in KL =)

    btw, did ur birthday pass some weeks ago? since ur description up there change to 24-year-old XD

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    1. I hope so too! Thanks!

      Yeah it was in last month =)

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    2. Ahhh, no wonder...happy belated birthday..a year wiser, eh =)

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  2. Sounds like you had a good plan =)

    Good luck and God Speed~

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    1. I hope it's a good one. Thanks!

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  3. Your "plan" looks good. I'm sure everything will go according to your "plan". (;

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  4. Wish you all the best!
    And I agree, don't plan to out to them, just leave it and when it happens, it happens. :D

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  5. All the best to you and hope all be fine....

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  6. Here's wishing you a bright future ahead and everything goes smoothly in your new life new place. By the way, where are you from? and Welcome to KL. Hahaha...

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    1. Thanks! I'm from Johor.

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    2. Orang Johor?! Nice~ they say guys from Johor are the hottest =P
      muahahaha

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    3. Haha I've heard of that too, not that I notice Johore guys are any hotter than the rest.

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  7. well, you know what i want you to know...

    so you know lah...

    (laughs so loud)

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    1. What???? What is it that you want me to know? I seriously have no idea..

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  8. This sounds like a really good plan. I mean, starting fresh. All the best! (:

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  9. Ahhh, how I wish I have the guts to do this as well! Good luck man!

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    1. You need to take it slowly because everyone's circumstances are different. Thanks! =)

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  10. How i let my new friends know? I talk like GAY is a bloody normal thing. It's like "Yeah...i went there once with my ex-boyfriend" "Oh..i love Market Place" then when one knows it will spread. Usually they will do the work for you. Not in a gossipy way but it's because you are okay and they too will be okay with it. Hahaha,,,anyway...yeah let it happen when it happens. Have a safe trip coming here and do ask for help if you ever need one.

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    1. Haha thanks for the advice. Sounds good, except I don't have much gay experience to talk about! But sure there are time when I can sneak in clues of my sexuality in some way. =)

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  11. Well as long as you get the idea of what i am trying to say then you should be okay. Cause this is the only way that one don't need to try or plan for anything cause you never meant to hide in the first place.

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    1. Yeah I agree with you. But when the perfect moment to casually say/hint about my sexuality comes, I hesitate and end up not saying anything about it. =/ There's still a mental thing to overcome. Haha..

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