Racial Preference

Do you have a special preference on what race your ideal partner should be?

I thought being a very 'Chinese' person, I would only be able to accept a Chinese guy, too. I was quite against interracial relationship for myself due to cultural difference. But it turns out race doesn't really matter to me. What I mean is, if I fall in love with a Malay guy, it will be no different from falling for a Chinese guy. I still get the same lovey feeling, except when we go into a relationship, I might have to change my diet and lifestyle a bit. Other than that, love is still love, there's no such thing as Chinese love or Malay love or Indian love. (Okay-lah if you're more into sex, the same goes, too—there's no Chinese sex, Malay sex or Indian sex.)

I think it's okay to have a preference on the race you would like to be in a relationship with. Some guys even have a special fetish on a certain race other than their own. I know a Malay guy who prefers Chinese guys. When I asked for further explanation (because I couldn't comprehend why), he told me that he's fond of the 'scent' or pheromone of Chinese guys. I still don't really understand, especially when I don't even know if I can smell pheromones, but I accepted his explanation and respect his preference.

What I disagree with is to base our preferences merely on the prejudice we've got for other races. And unfortunately that happens to Chinese in Malaysia a lot, according to what I've seen. There's a fallacy among many (but not all) Chinese that Chinese is more superior than other races in Malaysia. What is it based on? Nothing, other than the prejudice against other races that they were less hardworking, less smart etc. As Chinese, while I'm proud of my heritage and culture, I often feel ashamed by this notion among the Chinese people. That opinion itself is exactly the thing that makes us less superior than other races IMO.

Other than that, we ourselves as gay have been discriminated enough, why discriminate others too? We all know how it feels, right? Having prejudice against other races is a form of discrimination. Same goes to discrimination against effeminate guys or transexual people. We can disagree with the way they behave physically, or the way they dress up, but we should not judge them by those. We may prefer people of our own race due to cultural similarity, but not because we feel our race is more superior without any other further reasons.

Anyway, everyone is entitled to their opinion. As much as I'm against having sex with someone you don't love, I can't stop you from doing it. Same thing goes to this case. While I disagree with the preferences that are based on prejudice, the people with this kind of preferences can still keep them. The most I can do is only to advise and advocate on getting rid of the prejudice and prejudice-based preferences, but I can't force you to submit to my opinion on this matter. It's the very same human right concept that LGBT people have been fighting for, "self-determination"—everyone has their right to have the autonomy on their own matters, including but not limited to deciding who they are, how they live their lives, and what they think and do.

27 comments:

  1. Hmm.. it really depends though. Some people decide not to get into interracial relations because it might spark some differences? Or simply because they click well enough with the same cultural background peeps.

    As for me, probably still go for same race, and probably new stream other races. There's like this new stream and old stream of people, and I think company with the new streams are still comfortable.

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  2. well said rotiboy! muacks!! :)

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  3. ur just another coward like jboy . we chinese are still best when it comes to looks

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  4. @Tempus: That's exactly my point. If they prefer to find someone of their own race because they decide that they do not want to deal with the cultural differences, or they are more comfortable be around with people of similar cultures, that's a preference that is well thought out, and not based on racial prejudice. That, IMHO, is okay and it's a wise decision for themselves.

    @tuls: Thank you! =)

    @zhenyu27: You're entitled to your opinion. =) But I'm not sure if you've fully read my blog post. If your preference is Chinese because you think they look better, it's perfectly fine, too. Appearance is something really subjective and everyone has different tastes when it comes to looks. For me personally, I have seen many good looking Malays and Indians, and bad looking Chinese, too. But to be honest, I prefer the look of Chinese and Malays more than Indians. That's really a matter of personal preference.

    @alex: Exactly! =)

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  5. i agree when u say we prefer chinese only . thats all , they rest are bullcrap.

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  6. It’s amusing to see how this “zhenyu27” character brings out the negative vibes to the gay circle. Thought this type of stereotyping and egos should have ended in the era of Gen X & baby boomers. A wise Chinese lady once share with me some random bits of the society’s perception towards us; the gays.

    PS I’m not being racist here. =)

    The Indians-The constant dramas & living in the closet
    The Chinese-Selfish & thinks they are the high class in society
    The Malays-Family decision comes first
    The Outriders-None of the above.

    My perception says that “Zhenyu27” is clearly living those oldies eras by holding the typical Chinese character but the funny part is, he also clearly shows Indian character as well. Can I say that he is actually a combination of typical Chinese and Indian character by making such a big fuss over this topic?

    Grow up man. You have the right to stand firm with your decision but always think first the feedback and impression you are about receive for making such statement. In the end, which person you would like to be? A big person with a small heart or you would like to be a small person with a big heart? That’s a question you should ask yourself.

    PS, I have been with a Chinese for more than 2 years and yes there are flaws sometimes in our relationship. That doesn’t mean one is superior to other. Those flaws are the ones which actually make a person’s relationship last longer and interesting-more to explore, more to learn and more to love. =)

    And by the way, agree to Lex’s statement-Freedom to love. Cheers man! =)

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  7. @Elliott: Thanks for the sharing!

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  8. as long they don't impose their preference on others, all is well :)

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  9. @soul232 Yeah, that's for sure! =)

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  10. Being a beggar that I am, one can't afford to choose. As long as it's guy, I am all game

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  11. @thompsonboy: I believe it's not that you can't afford to choose. If you really have a preference, you would stick to it no matter how hard it is to fulfil it. It's only because you don't have any strict preference on that, and you're very open to any possibilities. =)

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  12. "The Indians-The constant dramas & living in the closet
    The Chinese-Selfish & thinks they are the high class in society
    The Malays-Family decision comes first
    The Outriders-None of the above."

    Try applying the above to only one single race or maybe apply it to one family. In one race, there are someone who is "The constant dramas & living in the closet" In the same race there would be also the one who are "Selfish & thinks they are the high class in society" Again in the same race also there are who prioritize "Family decision comes first" in the same race too there are who is carefree "The Outriders-None of the above." Well you can even micro it down and apply it to your very own circle of close friends.
    My point is that everyone is intimately equal.


    Elliott J. Ryan..am not criticizing your comment. Pls don't be offended.


    Zhenyu27...Really??

    long live Rotiboy!!!

    Cheers

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  13. @two horns child: I get what you mean. =) Those are only the perceptions of the Chinese lady in Elliott's story. It is definitely not true and those are really just stereotyping. But I think what Elliott is trying to do is giving an example by applying prejudice on a person who is having prejudice against others.

    Thank you for your views! Hehe =)

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  14. @two horns child; No worries man. Each people have their own opinion and preferences but there is something we can learn from each other. Cheers man! =)

    @rotiboy; you get my point exactly. =)

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  15. Dang! Perhaps it was bad timing.... was reading your blog and decided to click PLAY on Yoga's song.... and instantly it depresses me.....

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  16. @CP: Yeah.. The song is too depressing. Changed to a more jolly mood one. =)

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  17. Oooo I'm a little late in seeing this, but yeah I really like your reasoning and how you explain it!!

    And no matter what we feel, think or do, there will always be haters.. They see us rollin', they be hatin'! But we don't give a damn :P

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  18. TO ALL HATERS , GO SUCK OTHER NON CHINESE

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  19. Just for everyone's info, the only reason I'm still letting hateful comments to appear in my blog here is not because I'm encouraging hatred and hateful comments, but I want to let everyone to judge on their own on whatever that is happening here.

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  20. hahaha zhenyu27 you are hilarious la!!!!!!

    i think you're the only hater around here, sweety :P

    seriously the things u say crack me up XD

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  21. Don't really have a preference. All depends on the man himself.

    Though I do dislike a hairy back :) But that's just my own thing.

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  23. i particularly find interracial relationships admirable because of the sacrifice each of the two sides make for the relationship to go on despite the cultural, language and habit differences!

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  24. being not mly not chi not ind g@y hard to get same race..the advantage able to try both mly and chi but prefer chi huhu

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