Today when I was doing my usual kapchai routine on Grindr, I saw something surprising.
My ex-schoolmate is on Grindr, that could only means he's PLU right?
I hesitated to say hi. At the end I never get to say hi.
I think I have become too self-deceptive. While I said I can handle myself well enough and don't need a friend who is also gay to talk to, I guess through this surprising discovery, I realize that I actually instantly want to talk to a friend who can understand my circumstances.
My hesitation was partly because we were not that close back then in school. I'm afraid if he never intents to let his friends from school to know about his sexuality (like me). If that's so, it would be awkward if I told him that I found out he's gay.
I've never been good in dealing with people. That comes built-in to me as a nerd. So I have uncommon social dilemmas like this.
Ah well. Taking baby steps to change that part of me anyway.
