I was lost about how our relationship would become. I know it well I wanted to move closer, but he has his non-lover rules. I don't think he was playing around. At least even when I told him upfront about my no-sex stand, he showed his respects and our relationship was still the same.
But the one-million question that has always been puzzling me is from how close we were, it should be natural to move on to the next level and become a couple. The reasons given to me were so non-reason and seems so indifferent and unrelated. Until today I still don't understand what was keeping him. Maybe he had someone in his heart that he couldn't get it over. Maybe I was not good enough for him.
All in all, I don't see how we could move to the next level. And I had my concern on my life and work, so I decided to leave the city and him altogether.
Familiar Stranger - Justin Williams (2010)
I didn't know how to face him so I chose to run away. And now I'm saying hello again to him.
And two days ago I was still listening to this song and appreciating the lyrics. Yesterday morning he contacted me again.
That strummed my heartstrings. For an instant I was wavered.
I asked him again. I wanted to know what should I be expecting or not expecting from him this time.
He said it is still the same as before.
And I still don't understand.
But he sounds super happy for being able to contact me again. He couldn't get to me for more than half a year because I've blocked him from my contact.
a lot of things have happened to him and he has been feeling pretty down. But he said getting my reply made his day. And even my reply to his goodnight wishes made him so happy that he "can sleep with a smile".
So what is this about? I really have no idea. If a simple reply from me can be so powerful to make him that happy, that sounds like I can influence him more than a friend, yet I'm only his friend.
So as a friend, I refrain myself from using intimate form of address.