Guy in the Closet

Things always happen in the least expected way.

One of my near-daily routines is to browse Grindr to kapchai. And at the same time, I hope to find some guys in the circle to be my real friends (although most guys there seek only physical fun), and I also hold that tiny glimpse of hope to find the right person for me (even though knowing that is highly unlikely via Grindr).

Lately, some people keep pm'ing me. Most of them in their late 30's, 40's or even 50's seeking fun. They usually don't put their profile pic and other info. So it has become natural for me to ignore any pm's from anyone without profile pic and info.

There's a guy without profile picture and info that have been pm'ing me persistently for weeks even though I've never replied to him. Out of curiosity, I decided to respond to him just to see what is he about.

Unexpectedly, it's a young guy around my age, decent height, decent weight. I asked for his picture. He's not bad looking at all.

We chatted a little. Sounded good. Then chatted on Whatsapp. Then on Facebook.

I confirmed with him that he's not looking for physical fun from me.

Everything advanced so smoothly yet so fast. You just know it when it clicks. We must have some kind of mental link that connects what we think. Throughout the chat, there were several times we understood each other instantly before we finished talking about something. And not to mention that warm and sweet feeling chatting with him. He said he feels the same.

But we both know that we should not rush this. Both of us agreed that things that come fast go away faster. So we try to slow things down and decided to be friends and know each other better first.

We chatted the whole night through until just now. There seems to be endless things to chat about with him. I was really, so addicted into chatting with him that I feel hard to stop, even though I know he really needs to sleep. I think he feels the same way, so excited that he refused to sleep even though he is really sleepy.

I'm probably drawing the conclusion too early, but I just hope that I am right. I hope this is it, this is what I have been waiting for. It's a tiring journey looking for that special someone and I wish I don't have to continue looking any more.