of saving 'face' for company

I really think this job doesn't suit me.

(ok it's about my job again.)

My job deals with vendors. Many times vendors cannot deliver as promised. My job includes to 'push' them to deliver as soon as possible.

Like usual, I did it again today, 'pushing' a vendor.

And it seems like there's my company's email server broke down. Incoming external email cannot reach me. I tried to call the account manager but couldn't reach him. I left a message in the voicemail asking him to call me back but I didn't receive any call.

So I thought the vendor has not delivered as promised, and was trying to avoid me. After seeking advice from a senior colleague, he encouraged me to write to the account manager's superior to complain on the under-delivery.

So I wrote the email.

In the afternoon, I still get no response, not even from the account manager's superior. Before the day ends, I finally reached the account manager, by SMS. He said that he has replied all my emails, and that he has delivered the promised documents to my user. Later I found out that my company's email server is not running well, and the documents I had been chasing for was already with the user.

I was caught in an awkward position. I know how it feels being wronged by others. I feel sorry for him. I can completely understand he didn't want to reply my call because I wrongly complained on him.

I wanted to apologise for the mistake, but someone said there's no need for that. As the client and a bigger company, we shouldn't apologise to vendors on this kind of petty matters - that will make them being arrogant towards our company and our company will lose its 'face' to the vendors.

So should I just keep quiet and do not reply anything to let it be? I as the worker of the company shouldn't. Stop replying means I admit my mistake and company will lose 'face'. I had to squeeze some mistakes at the account manager's part to make him guilty.

So I replied him, blaming that he should call me back since he received my message in his voicemail. And I had to make it wordy to make it sound strong.

This is the worst day of my humanity this far. I believe there will be worse to come.


  1. You "someone" is correct. I don't admit my mistakes at work, externally. I'll twist it to become their fault.

    There's always a hierarchy in work. Client engage consultant, consultant refer specialist, specialist get items from supplier, supplier support by manufacturer and the whole cycle start again.

    Imagine, if that item really didn't deliver to user as you've suspected, you'll get screwed by your client. So, would you rather screw someone than getting screw by someone? You're just doing your job :)

  2. @VincciVince, while I was doing my job, it contradicts with my ethics and moral values. I do not like the fact that I have to do something that is not 'me'.

  3. I'm sorry but who cares about moral in this crazy world? Back yourself up and cover your ass tightly is THE utmost priority. It's your career and your future...

    In fact, wherever you go. It's the same...be selfish :)

  4. You're right, no one really cares about morality in this world now. I do try to cover myself but at the same time I don't disregard my personal principles. I'm selfish at times, but there's a limit on how selfish I can be and only under certain circumstances.

    In fact I find it less complicated if I were to work in a small company. Medium size ones are where I might started to face inner conflicts, big size ones are what I try to avoid in any possible ways. Trying to go back to the basics of everything now.

    Ironically, when one is in a small company, he would look forward to join a bigger one. But for one like me who get to join a slightly bigger one, I hope to go back to a small one.

  5. That's human nature, always drool over stuff they can't have...

    Somehow, working in a smaller office aren't that enjoyable either actually. Politics could be much intense...

    From my point of view, being selfish and prior yourself than anyone else is a golden rule of survival disregard where you're.


  6. @VincciVince, thanks for the advice! probably I haven't encountered what you've suggested but I will remember your words just in case I encounter such circumstances. =)